If you’ve ever:
- Opened a delivery box and felt your stomach drop
- Added one more thing to your cart because “you deserve it,” even though it barely helped
- Told yourself, “I’ll figure it out later” as you hit Buy Now
…this is for you. It’s an emotional spending reset.
Because emotional spending doesn’t start with a swipe. It begins with a feeling you can no longer hold. And sometimes, money is the only language you’ve got to say:
I’m not okay.
And that’s OK.
Last week, I spoke with Michele.
She’s 43. Lives in Austin and co-owns a dance studio. Works hard. Has a therapist. Knows what she should be doing with her money.
And yet…
“I inherited $100,000 from my grandmother three years ago,” she told me.
“And it’s gone.”
She said it quietly, twisting the gold ring on her finger—one of the only things she still has from her grandmother.
“I don’t even know where it went. I just know I feel stupid. And ashamed.”
She wasn’t talking about rent. Or medical bills. She was talking about the $28 on-sale dress that made her feel like she was still trying—the $600 weekend escape with someone who ghosted her after. The online course she never opened because she was scared she’d fail at that too. The $47 Target run that turned into $147 because it felt like control in a week that felt like collapse. ( I mean, who hasn’t done this?!)
Let me tell you something: shame isn’t a financial problem. It’s a human one.
Whether you’ve inherited money or not, whether you spent too much last month or are barely hanging on—shame is almost always behind the swipe.
We spend to self-soothe.
To feel something.
To try to make a version of ourselves we recognize in the mirror.
Michele didn’t overspend on yachts or designer bags.
She spent like most of us do when we’re running on fumes.
I talk about this a lot in my book, Unraveling Your Relationship with Money.
Here’s a snapshot of Michele’s last 30 days of spending:
- $1,185 on food delivery + “just a few things” grocery runs
- $846 at Sephora, Ulta, and skincare brands promising transformation
- $317 on clothes she hasn’t worn—tags still on
- $42 on a new planner she thought would help her “get her life together”
- $222 in app subscriptions and “free trials”
- $1,400 on an Airbnb trip with someone who didn’t text back after
- $75 on wellness supplements she saw on TikTok
- $603 in credit card minimums
- $175 in overdraft fees (she forgot to move money from savings)
- $300 on self-paced courses she never opened
- $89 on Target “mood boosts”
- $1,100 moved to savings… already pulled back out
Total: $6,315
Emotional cost: immeasurable.
“I didn’t overspend,” she told me.
“I overreached. I was trying to buy peace. Or clarity. Or some version of myself that didn’t feel like a failure.”
Michele’s not a cautionary tale. She’s not careless or clueless.
She’s one of us.
She’s what happens when no one teaches us how to feel safe with money—so we try to feel safe through spending.
I gave Michele one exercise to try:
“Take just one purchase and read the receipt. Not just what you bought, but why. Not the surface reason—but the emotional truth behind it.”She chose the $78 Sephora haul. “I was trying to feel like someone who had it together. I was spiraling and thought, if I could just change my face, maybe I’d feel more in control.”
That purchase wasn’t about lipstick. It was about control, identity, and a craving to feel visible.
That’s the thing about emotional spending—it’s not irrational. It’s expressive. But we’re taught to shame it instead of decode it.
That’s why I created Swipe Without Shame—a new 3-day audio reset for anyone who’s ever tried to spend their way into feeling better.
What is Swipe Without Shame?
It’s not a budgeting tool.
It’s a nervous system reset.
It’s voice-note-style emotional money coaching that meets you exactly where you are—in the Amazon cart, in the shame spiral, in the “I’ll figure it out later” zone.
This is what I wish Michele had.
It’s what I wish I had 10 years ago.
What you get:
- 3 short, powerful audio lessons (like voice notes from a money therapist who gets it (that’s me!))
- A journal workbook + exercises to decode your emotional spending patterns
- The shift you didn’t know you needed—but deeply deserve
We start Monday, July 15.
Presale is open now for $27 (50% off)
👉 Click here to preorder Swipe Without Shame
If your cart has ever been full of emotions you didn’t know how to process…
If you’ve ever whispered “I’ll deal with it later”…
If your receipts feel heavier than they should…
This is your reset.
Let’s change how you spend.
Let’s change how you feel about how you spend.
Let’s do it without shame.
P.S.
If your bank account could talk… would it say “We’re fine”—or “Yo, we need to talk”?
Just something to think about before you open that next tab. 😉
Swipe Without Shame is waiting.
